Holiday Travel Day From Hell
Written by Christian Solomon
Annalaura and Eli are both sick. I was up all night last night taking care of Eli so that Annalaura could sleep. It was a well intended gesture, but she was still awake half the night coughing. It was admittedly nice because I got 6 solid hours of Eli cuddles, but not nice because I only got 2 hours sleep.
We left Annalaura’s mom’s house on time and made it to the airport on time. However, during a series of airport blunders, security delays, and airline miss management issues, we missed our flight. (Side note: A couple days ago, in a gross parental laps, I watched a movie with a great deal of swearing in it, while Eli was in the room. It was a really well made movie with a great moral, but our mutant genius son learned a few new words from the experience. He's 18 months old and now barks the "F" word when he's mad or frustrated. Considering he's sick and got 3 hours of sleep last night, that means all day.) While I was still in security getting a, head to toe, pat down, Annalaura raced to the gate to tell them we were coming. I stood there having some dude test me for explosives and exploring my nether regions for dangerous things, while Eli sat in his stroller next to me screaming and swearing like a sailor. Once they reluctantly decided that I was not a risk to national security, I grabbed our stuff and Eli and ran down the terminal. I found Annalaura standing in front of our gate in tears. Our plane had left 10 minutes early.
By this point Eli had fallen asleep in mid scream, Annalaura's voice was gone completely, and my second Monster energy drink of the day was wearing off. At the ticket counter we found out that the next possible flight isn't until tomorrow, and they wanted to charge us a $200 rebooking fee. Annalaura again broke into tears and I firmly asked to talk to a manager. While talking to the manager, I'd like to think that my calm and careful explanation of the situation was the key to success, but I think it probably has more to do with the fact that I wouldn't stop stuttering at the poor lady. I think she was finally like, "I need to get this retarded dude with his overly emotional wife and catatonic son out of this airport." In the end, they graciously (wink, wink) waved the fees and booked us on the next flight out tomorrow.
We called my mother and sister in law, who were still in the area, and they come to pick us up again. We went out to lunch and my mother-in-law’s ever level and pragmatic self, helped us find a wonderful hotel suite for the night. It was at that point that I realized we'd forgotten to let our ride home from the airport know that we weren't going to be there today. Our friends Nathan and Jamilyn were already there waiting for us. Friend fail. To top it all off, somewhere in all the insanity, Eli lost one of his shoes. No clue when or where it happened.
So here we are. All of our things are already in Salt Lake City. Eli is fussing in the other room, Annalaura is passed out in bed next to me, and I'm trying to morally prepare myself for tomorrow.